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Arise Jason! (ABC)

Wedding downer. (ABC)

The GH Rant from August 11 - 15:

It was another exciting week in Port Charles as Jason’s fate was revealed, and Maxie’s wedding came crashing down. We learned the partial truth about Levi, but not the whole truth. Let’s discuss!

The cryogenic coma clinic.
The show teased viewers with Jason’s arms this week, but not his face. As the show is still using photos of Steve Burton, it’s clear they will have to come up with a reason Jason has a new face. We know that Victor has big plans for his "prized pig" Jason. I’m going to place my money on the over-used brainwashing and plastic surgery plot. I think Victor will send Jason to Port Charles to cause trouble under an entirely new identity.

Adventure buddies.
Sam’s quest to get dirt on Nina seems to have taken a backseat for now as Patrick asked her to help him find out who has it out for his family. Sam and Patrick have amazing chemistry and would make a great couple, except for the fact that Patrick lied to her about Jason being frozen and Robin trying to revive him. He of course thinks Jason is now dead and Robin failed, but that doesn’t absolve his initial lie. With Robin seemingly locked up by Victor yet again, Patrick will likely have to save her with Sam in tow. How many close calls with NuJason can we expect to happen before he's finally revealed?

Friendly advice.
In last week’s blog I talked about how Lucas, Brad and Felix perpetuate gay stereotypes. This week looked to continue the trend with Lucas’ proposed threesome, which perpetuates the idea that gay men are about sex above relationships. Each of the involved ended up discussing the idea with others. Felix fortunately broke that stereotype, telling Franco that he was not into the idea and was old fashion, wanting a relationship with only one person. Major applause for Felix this week, and the writers for putting that out there. Britt meanwhile was shocked and surprised by Brad’s willingness to go along with it, while Carly was rightly grossed out when Lucas mentioned his idea to her. What brother discusses their sex life with their older sister, let alone a proposed threesome? Too much sharing Lucas!

Britt took the threesome idea and ran with it, crashing Nikolas and Liz’s lunch date. The triangles on this show are getting a bit out of hand, but these three are the most boring of the bunch. Nicolas needs to pick a woman and be done with it.

Meanwhile, Lucas, Brad and Felix scrambled to make plans for their threesome hangout date. Who knew how complicated it could be to plan one of these? Apparently there are an insane number of factors involved in this type of thing. Fortunately for us viewers we seem to be down one triangle on the show. Lucas revealed to Brad that he was the one he chose that night he caught him and Felix in the showers. Later Felix took himself out of the equation, thankfully resolving this terrible triangle. Hopefully the show will choose to focus on other things with these characters and not just their sex lives.

Magic Milo in love.
Milo came to Sonny this week seeking advice on love. Frankly Sonny is not one to give love advice given his track record in this department. The conversation between the two resulted in many viewers scratching their heads over Milo’s sexuality. He spoke of disappointing his father because of who he’d fallen for, and of feeling like he was "coming out" with this truth as if he was living in the 1960s. Even Felix misunderstood who Milo had feelings for, which in the end turned out to be Epiphany Johnson. A big thumbs down for the runaround with this reveal, but a big thumbs up for the way the story dealt in a positive way with body image and relationships, which is a very real issue.

Not so subtle.
As of late the show has been teasing viewers with a Carly and Sonny reconciliation, and they haven’t been very subtle about it. Between Franco’s jealousies, Sonny’s smooth moves on Carly, Olivia warning Carly about Franco, and Nina telling Franco about Carly and Sonny's kiss, it’s as if we are being beaten over the head to accept Carly and Sonny. Carly needs to keep Ava's situation with Sonny and Morgan on her mind when Sonny tries to woo her. Just don’t go there again Carly!

Nina had a hilarious run-in with Obrecht at the hospital, who was none too please that Nina had been skipping her physical therapy sessions. Franco swooped in and rescued her, and later the two ended up stranded in an elevator during the outage. Not only does Nina shine when she’s on screen with Franco, but she’s hilarious with Rosalie and Obrecht as well. They need to get her away from Silas, as those two just don’t mesh together and he brings her crazy out. Alas, we likely will have to let her crazy scheme ride out. Here is hoping they don’t completely destroy the character of Nina when all is said and done, as the character is great when she’s not a complete psycho.

Lecherous Levi.
Levi’s scheme was finally exposed this week, which was to get his hands on Felicia’s Aztec jewels. There are several things about this storyline that irk me, most notably is the worth of Felicia’s jewels. We heard over and over that they were priceless. Actually the ring is a priceless artifact, as was the original scepter before Felicia butchered it into a matching necklace and pair of earrings. Did anyone think to suggest to Felicia that might be a bad idea? Then there was the utter chaos that ensued after Levi's reveal with Lulu and Maxie being taken hostage and Mac shot. Though she’s on vacation, writer Violette DeSantis weighed in on Twitter.

Still yet to be revealed is who Levi really is. We now know he's not Australian, and it has been teased by the actor that Levi does have a connection to a family in Port Charles. This has led to fans speculating who Levi is. Vote in's General Hospital Poll: Which family do you think Levi is a member of?

Best lines of the week.

Robin to Victor, "Another veiled threat?" Victor, "Not really." Robin, "That's not a threat?" Victor, "It wasn’t veiled."

Lulu, "Careful Maxie your Freudian slip is showing!"

Franco to Felix, "The way you handle a loofa, you will make some young man very happy one day."

Franco to Felix on his "Golden Girls" marathon, “How do you even listen to that theme song, for me it makes me want to be a sociopath all over again.”

Olivia to Carly, "They took out the brain tumor, now he's Franco the absent-minded serial killer."

Obrecht to Nina, “Nobody's mother-tongue is English, not even the English!"

Victor, "Never trust a Cassadine!"

Britt to Nikolas, "Aren't the Cassadines known for keeping it in the family?" Nikolas, "Those are ugly rumors, very ugly rumors Britt. But they are true."

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All screen shots courtesy of ABC.

- Dustin Cushman