Farah pressures JP, Fary pressures Nadia and Kelly thinks beyond "General Hospital."
Farah and JP take a walk on the beach. She asks if he is scared to leave his life in New York. JP admits he is leaving a lot of happiness to be with her. She promises she will give him a good life there and jokes about how he should propose to her.
The soap gang gets together for dinner, including Galen and Jenna, who remind us they are on the show. Farah notices Galen isn't wearing a wedding ring. JP boasts he'll never wear one, either, and his fighting with Farah makes everyone uncomfortable. Brandon jokes that he wears a ring just for practice. Brandon then suggests that they all take a camping trip together. JP is concerned about it turning into a Blair Witch experience. A life with Farah could be scarier.
Farah, JP, Danny and Nathaniel go shopping for camping supplies. Danny hopes the trip will be like the movie "Brokeback Mountain." They place bets on who will walk away first, but Farah thinks it will be a blast. They pack up their van and drive to meet everyone at the campsite. Farah continues to blab about how excited she is, because if she says it enough, it will really be true.
As everyone arrives at the campsite, Danny is immediately turned off by the bugs. Danny and Nadia chat while the tents are being set up. He wonders if she would be weirded out if Brandon popped the question. She admits her mom's disapproval plays a part in her marriage fears. Danny thinks it sucks that she is enabling her mom. Nadia is either moved by the deep advice, or drunk. Kelly arrives and thanks Galen and Jenna for inviting her. She makes her presence known with a tequila shot. Kelly impresses everyone with her hot body and teeny bikini. Jenna and Farah chat about kids. Farah thinks she would be a good mom, but doesn't feel called to be a mom. Kelly pops into the conversation and definitely wants to be a mom. Farah claims she doesn't necessarily care about marriage, but wants to know if JP would go through with it or not.
The gang sits by a campfire. Kelly admits that she is terrified about "General Hospital" cancellation rumors. Farah asks how Kirsten's replacement is doing, and they all hope she gets better soon. Galen makes a toast to everyone. Danny asks JP when he is going to buy Farah a ring. Galen steps in and asks why he's ambushing JP. Jenna also thinks pressuring JP isn't good. Danny then tells Farah and her favorite Molly Ringwald "Pretty in Pink" hat that he is breaking up with JP. An intoxicated and vulnerable Farah suddenly wants to marry JP, but doesn't think he wants to marry her. She cries how good she is to him and deserves an answer. Danny calls JP over and asks if he wants to marry Farah. JP answers that he wants to spend his life with her, but she cries that it isn't fair to not give her a straight answer. She orders him to give her an answer. He can't, and she says she is breaking up with him. She cries that she is done with him and mumbles and stumbles away, which reminds JP why he is anti-marriage.
Kelly meets with Nick, a branding expert, to generate some business ideas in case her run on "General Hospital" should end. He suggests a clothing line. She is excited to get her life in order and goes to Vegas to scout out prospects.
Nadia meets Fary for lunch, who brings her friend, Fernando. Nadia realizes that Fary is trying to set her up. She texts Brandon to come rescue her. Fernando steps away, and Fary thinks he is a gentleman. Nadia wants Fary to meet a man of her own, which Fary nixes, because deep down she knows no man would ever tolerate her. Fernando returns and Fary tries to encourage the two to hook up. Brandon arrives and Fary points out he wasn't invited. Brandon asserts Nadia invited him, and Fary says she wanted Nadia to meet a real gentleman. As Fary and Fernando leave, she cries that she can't stand to be in the same room as Brandon. Fernando thinks that he could show Nadia what a real man is and teach Brandon some manners. Back inside, Nadia admits Fary is being manipulative. A dejected Brandon believes she knows no boundaries and doesn't think he'll ever win. When they return home, she promises to try and not let her mom have such a stronghold on their relationship.
Back at home, Farah and JP discuss their breakup. She rolls her eyes one last time for the cameras. She brings up marriage again and he finally tells her that someday they will get married.
It wasn't exactly the finale I had hoped for, as a lot was left open-ended. Of course, perhaps that will lead to a second season for my new favorite guilty pleasure.
I just don't understand Farah. One moment, she tries to play it cool and claims she doesn't care about marriage or kids. The next moment, she is throwing around ultimatums to JP. Maybe there is a lot we don't see off camera, but I think all of her constant complaining and bossy demeanor would get to me. On a side note, as picky as Danny is about fashion, why hasn't he told Farah to ditch that tacky hat we've seen all season?
Nadia should just cut Fary out of her life for awhile. If Fary can't accept Brandon, maybe some tough love will get her to accept she can't call the shots in Nadia's life. I also think Fary was attracted to Fernando and secretly wanted him for herself.
As irrelevant as Galen and Jenna have been all season, I did enjoy seeing them put Danny in his place and suggest that he let JP decide if and when to propose, not because Danny thinks something should happen.
All season long, Kelly has been my favorite. She seems like a really down-to-earth gal. I just wish we could have seen Kirsten before the season wrapped. I was happy that they mentioned her in the finale, and here's to hoping that she is doing better and that we'll see her in a new season of "Dirty Soap!"
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- Allyson Wells