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    Dirty Soap - DAILY UPDATES

    He's Not My Cake. - Dirty Soap Daily Updates - Soaps.com

    He's Not My Cake.

    Sunday, October 23 2011
    While visiting her family in the Poconos, Kelly's surprised by Mike's presence, and JP is grilled about proposing to Farah.


    Outside their home, Brandon lets Nadia know he's going to trim their trees back. She doubts his ability so he climbs the tree to show her how easy it'll be. She's strangely turned on by it. Later, she receives a call from her agent asking her to sing the national anthem for the San Diego Padres. Mortified, she remembers screwing it up the last time but agrees to consider it. Later on, Brandon wanders in on Nadia and her mother guzzling back the wine. Fary sneers at Brandon while Nadia tells them about her call. Fary offers to get her a voice coach to prepare. After all, her father's watching over her. This makes both ladies tear up and Nadia finally agrees to do it.



    Kelly's flight is delayed. She figures it's a good reason for cocktails. The flight leaves after five hours. She arrives in the Poconos and at her parents' place. Her mother is concerned about how skinny she is. They place bets on her weight but Kelly loses after she steps on the scale and shocks herself by learning she's only 92 pounds. They discuss her dismal romantic life and she makes her sister almost hurl after joking she needs a guy who is really well hung. Her mother suggests she do "The Bachelorette" but Kelly doesn't find her very humorous. Later, the sisters get into Kelly's bed and make fun of how her bones protrude from her body. Again, Kelly hopes she doesn't see her ex-boyfriend. Her mother thinks that it's probably one of the hardest things to go through, ending an 18 year marriage. Not cancer or losing one's sight or anything pesky like that. In the evening, Kelly and her family pay a visit to the local bar, where Mike is. She asks what he's doing there. This is his hangout...as if she didn't know. Things are awkward. He does all of the talking. He wants her, she's the love of his life, he's done a lot of reflecting...Kelly tears up and calls talk sh*t. They rehash their past together and how he wasn't supportive. He killed her soul, she says melodramatically. She wishes him luck and they hug and part ways. Her mom steps in and puts the smile back on her face with a few platitudes.



    JP and Farah head out to Kentucky. She explains how her father got her on Bourbon when she was five and JP of course doesn't bat an eyelash. Once there, they do a photo shoot for Bourbon together. Victoria, Farah's sister lets her know that an obsessed fan stopped by. Farah's hesitant and once she sees her groans. "Oh God." She remembers the fan, who is nice, but a little over-zealous. Farah tells the story of Nadia tweeting her location to thousands of people and how shocked they all were when this very same fan called the restaurant to talk to Nadia. Nobody saw it coming. Both she and JP greet the fan briefly and though it's spot on, Farah thinks it's 'cliche' to admit that without her fans she wouldn't have had such a long run on television. Later, Farah and her mother Lisa prepare a gourmet meal consisting of canned goods while Lisa bitches Farah out about living in sin.



    Nadia's vocal coach arrives at her place and teaches her to squeeze her butt while singing. He seems to think she sounds better after she gives it a go, so they all pile into the car and head to the game in bumper-to-bumper traffic. If Nadia's nerves aren't bad enough, Fary makes a jab at Brandon's driving skills. They make it there with a whole 45 seconds to spare. Nadia's suited up in a jersey and sings the national anthem without any flubs.

    After the game, Brandon makes a comment about Nadia not knowing how to relax when he finds her in bed studying a script. He's thrilled to have made it through one day without Fary bad-mouthing him and gives Nadia a framed photo of her with her father the year before he died. She weeps happily. She appreciates him and tells him to go get naked.



    JP goes golfing with Farah's father, the snappy dresser, who practically begs JP to marry his daughter. After spewing obscenities at his lack of talent on the green, JP offers to marry Farah if her father can make the next put. JP rants about not wanting to bring his children up in the eyes of God and he doesn't want to wear a wedding band. Most guys get strippers but JP declares, "I'm getting a vasectomy on my bachelor party."


    Farah and her father settle in at a bar for some Bourbon, before he reminds her that her biological clock is ticking and he doesn't want to have to depend on her little sister for grandkids. No pressure. Farah doesn't see herself having kids anytime soon, nor is she even certain she's ready to be married just yet. "He's not my cake." He's the icing. Greg mutters something about a Bourbon and KFC making him happy. Afterward, Farah takes JP away to 'absorb their situation'. She confesses she knows her family is pressuring him. She feels 'not all the way bad' but just a little bit. She makes a crack about this being what adults discuss, but it's lost on him. He's too busy staring at her beauty.


    Back in the Poconos, Kelly would love to visit her family more often but she needs to close this chapter of her life and needs their support. Her mother agrees to cut off contact with Mike. They share a hug.



    Next week on "Dirty Soap:"

    Fary complains about Nadia and Brandon's cheesy photo shoot.

    Galen is lectured by Jenna after he makes his kid cry during a Karate lesson.

    Farah fills JP in on upcoming surgery she needs after having a biopsy taken.

    Feel free to leave a comment about your take on tonight's "Dirty Soap."

    Christine's Critique:

    For someone who isn't accustomed to watching reality TV a habit, I found the episode dizzying. To start with, neither JP nor Farah seemed to - at least in this episode - want to marry or have kids anytime soon. JP seems to be rebelling against Farah's father because he's tired of the same argument. Farah contradicts herself in each episode, which is the one constant. She almost seems to sneer at her fans yet for the camera interviews, she admits they're the only reason she has been on television this long. It was absolutely absurd that they were shocked that a fan would call the restaurant after Nadia tweeted her exact location. I'm not sure what's more sad, Farah insulting JP about not being a grown-up or JP not even cluing in.

    As for Brandon and Nadia, I don't know how either of them put up with Fary. Not only does she lay it on way too thick about Nadia's father but she's really disrespectful to both Nadia and Brandon. We made it through another episode of Brandon making a wise crack to Nadia about her not knowing how to relax.

    I'm sure Kelly's weight loss has everything to do with the break-up. I was expecting more of a showdown between Kelly and Mike but instead found several sweet scenes between Kelly and her mother.

    Thoughts? Go ahead and leave a comment.

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    - Christine Fix


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    USER COMMENTS

    Posted by Chrissi_Soaps.com at Sunday, October 23 2011 09:13 PM

    Hi guys! Subbing for Ally tonight. I'm sooo tired. Have to get up super early so enjoy the recap and please leave a comment about what you thought about the show tonight.

    Posted by Chrissi_Soaps.com at Sunday, October 23 2011 09:15 PM

    One thing... I found it pretty funny that Kelly kept saying she hoped she didn't see Mike. It was at least three times, yet she went to his favorite hangout so what was she expecting? HAHA!

    So manufactured! :P

    Posted by hotmomma1 at Monday, October 24 2011 07:27 AM

    I think the problem with reality shows is the editing. I know its for the dramatic effect, but is JP really that dense? He's like a big kid, and Farah is like trying to get him to grow up or something. Kelly going to Mike's favorite hangout and not knowing it after 18 years? unbelievable.

    Posted by Chrissi_Soaps.com at Monday, October 24 2011 08:14 AM

    Haha! I know right? I tend to think JP isn't that dense or Farah's not that mean, or Fary's not that rude.... :P It's all for drama and effect I think! What an episode. I missed seeing Kirsten though.

    Posted by Kim723 at Monday, October 24 2011 08:22 AM

    I really don't get Farah...What a nag..She complains about John Paul, says he "Needs to grow up" blah blah blah..I don't get how or WHY "some" women, after a couple a years with the man want to change them? ummmm, all of his goofy, silly childlike qualities are all the things I'm SURE she fell in love with about him, now she wants to change him??and as for her nasty behavior towards John Paul's Mother a couple of shows back, SCRIPTED or NOT, when a woman disrespects the mans mother ESPECIALLY a NICE one, she should be kicked to the curb. That is what I fell in love with about MY own hubby of 21+ years with is how much he loves his mom, how silly he was & still IS, I wouldn't change a thing...loving his mom only showed me how much he would respect & love me best of all he made a great dad! she can't stand it if she's not the CENTER OF JP'S WORLD. And for her to say if your not ready then we need to go our seperate ways so I can just move on.. LOLLOLLOL sure ya can sweetie...Good luck finding anyone nearly as good-looking, sweet, funny ya know, all those quirky things about JP You fell in love with there aren't many men out there like him and you got one HOW I don't know- but maybe he will figure out how superficial you are??...As far as Nadia's Mom goes....holy COW she's a bit OUT THERE!!! Fary is from a whole other culture where FAMILIES have to Approve the person...BS!!! I say let your GROWN AZZ kids make there own decisions.Brandon is good to her, loves and respects her- Fary needs to back off...but she wont Nadia wouldn't allow it?? So Good luck on that one Brandon.....

    Posted by Chrissi_Soaps.com at Monday, October 24 2011 09:11 AM

    Great post Kim. You're absolutely right.

    Posted by mamajj at Monday, October 24 2011 12:28 PM

    I missed Kirsten. Feel better soon. We need you on GH & Dirty Soap.

    I didn't even miss Galen & Jenna.

    Kelly I love her but she needs to add a cheeseburger to her diet once a week. I loved her family. They were really down to earth. I was under the impression that Kelly's family owned that bar. I thought she said, it's been in the family for years, she grew up there & it was her first job. And Mike showed up even after her mom told him not to. But of course there wouldn't have been any drama if he didn't. Reality TV gotta love it. Hopefully now she has some closer & can move on w/her life.

    WHY does JP NEED to marry Farah? I see where she gets it now. Her parents. Just let JP be. If he wants to he will. Pressuring him won't move the process along. Farah said she doesn't want kids & it looks like he doesn't either so what's the big rush. just chill & enjoy life.

    Nadia did great at the Padre game. Fary actually zipped it for once. But Brandon shouldn't get use to it. Looks like next week she is back to her prime self. It was a nice gesture, Brandon giving Nadia that pic. Very sweet.

    Posted by Chrissi_Soaps.com at Monday, October 24 2011 01:34 PM

    Yeah why marry? What's the big deal? It's not going to change anything between them!

    Posted by Unicorn Girl at Monday, October 24 2011 02:23 PM

    I'm glad to read the other comments. I thought I was the only who thought Nadia's mom was a bit "off base". I like Brandon and so far I like how he treats Nadia. You would have thought he was using her as his love/house/work slave or something the way Fary talks. I've never seen him even be disrespectful to Fary.

    If this is a vehicle to make Farah look better to the public and improve her ratings with OLTL fans, it ain't working.

    I love Kirsten.

    Galen/Jenna, I'm still not sure about.

    It should be a crime that Nadia is as beautiful as she is. I'm a straight woman and I'm like, Holy POOP on a Stick!

    I'm trying to understand Kelly. While I try, I might make her a couple of sandwiches.

    Posted by LowCountry Girl at Tuesday, October 25 2011 07:51 AM

    Nadia did a fantastic job singing at the Padre game. I love her and Brandon together as a couple! I hope Kelly can finally move on with her life. It was a treat watching Kelly with her family.
    Mammajj, I am with you I didnot miss Galen & Jenna at all.






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