The multi-talented singer, song-writer, actress, and writer Gloria Loring (ex-Liz Chandler) spoke with Soaps.com about her newest book, a spiritual autobiography titled, Coincidence Is God's Way of Remaining Anonymous which is a candid exploration of how coincidence has helped her in her journey through life's challenges.
Soaps.com: You landed the role on "DOOL" just after your son’s diabetes diagnosis. What was it like dealing with organizing his diet and insulin shots while simultaneously taking on a new job that began at 6:00 AM each morning and involved memorizing lines – not to mention traveling, recording, and working to raise money for JDF? How did you manage it all?
Gloria Loring: I joined the cast almost one year after Brennan was diagnosed with diabetes. That first year was very difficult. Fortunately, by the time I joined "Days" we had a wonderful housekeeper who was trained to care for Brennan (except for his shots) and the teachers at his nursery school were also aware of his needs. It helped that I usually worked only two to three days a week, and that Alan was home in the morning. For my work, I relied on my photographic memory, which was an enormous help! Even so, it was a very busy life.
Soaps.com: You mention in the book that when you found the ‘Expect a Miracle’ card in your dressing room, it was also the first time you had noticed an inner voice in your head. It’s interesting that you didn’t characterize the voice as being your own. Could you elaborate or explain?
Gloria Loring: Intuitive guidance, the "voice in our head," emanates from within us. Whether or not we attribute it to God, intuition, or the psyche, it belongs to us and with us. Although the "Except the Miracle" card did prompt inner guidance, it wasn’t until my separation from Alan that I identified an inner voice unlike my own. When I heard, "Don’t be afraid of the silence," I realized that something mysteriously greater than my current understanding was offering guidance.
Soaps.com: When you began to notice and become more aware of the significance of ‘coincidence’ in life, did you begin to ‘look’ for examples of coincidences in day-to-day life? In other words, did it change your perspective?
Gloria Loring: My journey with and my research into the subject of coincidence definitely changed my perspective. I don’t really watch for coincidences, but I do recognize them when they offer themselves. I expect goodness.
Although I don’t feel we should expect or rely on coincidences, I know that coincidences are attracted by what we think and plan and do. We can use coincidences for our good and the good of those we love. You can use this formula: When a coincidence gets your attention...
Determine if it has a message for you. Does it pique your interest, nag at you?
Discover if there are additional clues. Is there a pattern? Have several people or events brought this to your attention?
Define the message. What is it asking of you? More patience, forgiveness, kindness, love? What is it guiding you toward? Is there something it is asking you to do?
Then do it. See what happens. We learn to trust coincidence and intuition by using them.
Soaps.com: In the period of your life during your marriage to Chris that you described as ‘dark’, it struck me as interesting that though you seemed to be adrift in life – even contemplating suicide at one point – you still felt self-important as a celebrity going into the yoga and meditation courses. Did you ever reflect on that irony?
Gloria Loring: Deep wounds to self-worth can make us dependent on people and circumstances for our sense of self. Back then I needed my life’s outer aspects to tell me I was okay. If criticism or difficulty came, I had no inner messages of worth to shore me up. I lived my life from the outside in. So having others tell me I was important or special or loved or worthy was essential.
Gloria Loring: Absolutely. Coincidence brought me ecumenical teachings about God and life that were exactly right for me. It was what I had wanted for a long time.
Soaps.com: In the book you talk about silencing your inner critic. Does she ever still make attempts to bully you?
Gloria Loring: I have been telling my inner critic to quiet down for so many years, she doesn’t have much power any more. The old messages come up, I don’t know that they ever truly go away, but they wither rather quickly on the vine.
Soaps.com: It sounds from the book title like you are a Christian, yet through reading it becomes clear that you actually embrace the commonality amongst all religions and spiritual groups. Do you consider yourself a Christian?
Gloria Loring:I was raised as a Christian and that is my first frame of reference. I have a daily practice of prayer and meditation, but when I attend a service, it’s most often a Christian church, although I feel comfortable in any house of worship. Of course, my book’s title is a quote by Albert Einstein and he was Jewish, so I love that you think it sounds Christian. I used his quote because it personified an ecumenical outlook.
Soaps.com: We can perceive circumstances or coincidences negatively or positively. How large a role did perception play as you learned to look at and interpret life events in a different way?
Gloria Loring: Perception is everything! As my way of perceiving and understanding myself and my life opened up, healed, my inner and outer life opened up, healed. I can say unequivocally that coincidence offers life-changing opportunities.
Soaps.com: Your story is very much about healing. What advice would you give to those who think their past trauma would be too difficult to overcome or who don’t know how to get started?
Gloria Loring: There is great power in sharing your story, telling your truth. The first step in healing trauma is to find a compassionate witness. It could be a professional therapist or a long time friend, someone you know accepts you for all of who you are. If it’s a family-based trauma, go outside the family for help, as the information may be too upsetting to them.
Soaps.com: What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
Gloria Loring: There is help and comfort and healing just waiting to make itself known to you. Coincidence can lead you to it. I hope my book will encourage readers to know, in Andrew Weil’s words, that "there is a conspiracy in the universe on their behalf."
Soaps.com: Do you think coincidences are miracles?
Gloria Loring: Very often they are!
Readers can purchase Coincidence Is God's Way of Remaining Anonymous: Reflections on Daytime Dramas and Divine Intervention in any bookstore or online.
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Header photo credit: Gloria Loring (Bader Howar)
- Candace Young