DAYS OF OUR LIVES SOAPBOX

Deconstructing DOOL: Disjointed Writing, the Tired Skank & Creepy Clone

January 29 – February 2

Deconstructing DOOL: Disjointed Writing, the Tired Skank & Creepy Clone image

The week started out slow but Cliffhanger Thursday and Friday chased the Monday blues away. These are just a few comments from viewers on Soaps.com, who are much like myself, having a difficult time caring about current storylines, some of which are mystifying. Beware - they're harsh, but collective. Some called the week 'boring waste of time,' while others admitted they had trouble paying attention and nodded off. Most seemed to not have a clue as to what was going on, calling it "disjointed gobble-dee-gook'" and wondering what they're supposed to be "cheering for versus hating on."

How many SPD detectives does it take to…
Monday’s episode had a case of the Mondays, much like myself. The entire SPD force reviewed the DiMera security videos which produced a lot of laughter. The footage was seen as confusing. Gabi punching the paper-thin wall in anger was...astonishing. I’ve never seen a woman punch a wall in anger. Not that I blame her. I’ve just never seen it! Vivian was tense when she learned Salem police confiscated the videos, worried they would notice that she and Stefan-O spent a lot of time with the dead body. That didn't ring true since Vivian is a master schemer and would never leave incriminating evidence behind for someone else to clean up. We’re beyond the point where the audience needs to be let in on this mother and son scheme because they’re losing interest. At least by week's end, Rafe noticed there was an hour missing from the video and confronted Stefan, who was obvious.

More: Bill Hayes, Susan Seaforth-Hayes up for Award

Caught up in a web of lies.
An abortion storyline would have created an abundance of drama, heartbreak and instead of making Lani into a lying halfwit, we’d have felt her sorrow. At least Val is fighting for her son’s right to his own child by stealing Lani’s chart, knowing it could land her in hot water. Now if we could get JJ to stop telling people “We’re pregnant.” There is no we. It’s not cute. The highlight of the week was JJ wandering around Salem with flat hair thanks to Eli installing those new low flow showerheads at Martin House like the ones Jerry and Kramer were stuck with on “Seinfeld.” And for those who didn’t bother to listen to the dialogue, JJ spoke with Hope about something or other that had no bearing on anything remotely interesting. Just filler. Will's discussion with Hope was more interesting with him remembering seeing Hope's engagement ring at Sami's. Oops!

This is painful and heartbreaking.
This is an intriguing mystery and there are no new theories as to what's going on. In a surprise twist, Paul caught John admitting to poisoning Steve but didn’t confront him. Instead, he asked about the vial and John lied that it was eye drops. I’ve never seen eye drops come in a vial. And neither has Paul. Then John smashed it after Steve laid it on thick about how much their friendship means to him and Will never saw it in his not-so-secretive search at the pub. We mentioned in last week's Deconstructing DOOL, how heartbreaking this storyline is, but we could do without the constant reminders that Steve and John are friends, which we've been shown for years. Being hit over the head isn't necessary. We're already beside ourselves.

Cyclone Carrie hit town and we love it.
Carrie’s possibly the only person so far to snipe at Rafe and Hope for being hypocrites. Someone had to. It was hilarious. Exhilarating. Then she became weepy and it ruined the moment. But to be fair, just because they screwed up, doesn’t have to mean they should be bad cops going forth. (I know. That sounds bananas.) That Carrie knows Rafe took Sami to bed is the icing on the cake yet what was the purpose was in her sharing that knowledge with Rafe?

Andre's funeral.
This was by far the best funeral I've seen in any soap. It was a testament to Deidre Hall's acting that you knew momentarily that it was Hattie, not Marlena, entering the mausoleum. Her mannerisms and that hat tipped us off pretty fast. I still can't believe Andre's gone. I tend to lean toward loving the villains but I'd never defend them to anyone, which is why it's a bit ridiculous that Abigail constantly does. Serial killers can't reform. But while Abigail was all broken up over Andre, Chad was laughing his ass off at Hattie's antics. And who can blame him, what with Vivian being shoved into the casket and though they didn't show it, having Andre's body land on her. Pure brilliance. I love how it all wrapped up at SPD, where Anna and Hattie ripped on each other calling one another "tired skank" and "creepy clone." I'd watch this episode again.

This is my opinion – popular or not – share your own in the comments!

Best lines:

Carrie to Rafe, "I know that you cheated on Hope."

With disdain, Vivian says about Andre, "He was becoming... nice."

Victor to Sonny about the divorce papers, "Why didn't you sign these? Need a pen?"

Anna about Tony’s urn, "If he had to be a murder weapon, at least he looked his best."

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Photo credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

- Christine Fix

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