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Creepier by the day. (NBC Universal Inc.)

Trashy outfit meant for teens. (NBC Universal Inc.)

Salem Shenanigans from March 24 - 28:

These are the meddlers of our lives.

Partners in crime.
Theresa caught on mighty quickly to Liam’s obsession with Her Royal Hortonness. Too quickly. It was preposterous. For about five seconds I really thought Theresa was going to start turning over a new leaf and tattle on him to Daniel. Nope. This isn’t going to end well. Theresa's stupid to trust a psycho. He's going to continue to use her when she thinks they're in cahoots. Her handkerchief is going to come in handy for him.

Jordan’s boring mystery.
I thought at first a bit of interest was generated in the Jordan mystery storyline when it looked as though she and Nick knew each other but now I’m not sure if they knew each other from somewhere or if he just realized Kate brought Sheryl to town to meddle in Jordan and Rafe’s relationship. What did you think? Vote! Days poll: Does Nick know Jordan?

Rafe is probably wondering how he invariably gets himself involved with liars but once he learns Jordan's a damsel in distress it'll be 'White Knight to the rescue'. Yawn.

Foolish Gabi.
Our eyes popped out of our heads collectively when Gabi asked Rafe, “Why do people assume the worst of Nick?” Completely brainless. Then she actually said to her brother, the police officer, “He’s not an ex-con, he’s a Horton for God’s sake.” What a ditz. He’s a Horton who is an ex-con who most recently attempted to rape her. Nobody changes in three months and Nick will never change. Thankfully Rafe gave her a huge dose of tough love and since he couldn’t respect her decision to be with Nick, walked out on her. Good. You can’t give a person an ultimatum and not expect the possibility that they’ll walk away.

New couples.
Do we now call this “Conscious Coupling?” Sheryl and Lucas were cute together but so rarely seen, sadly and we’ve Maxine and Abe finally getting a little closer. How adorable was Maxine squeezing with Jennifer about the date! Plus, it’s good that Abe gets to move on from losing Lexi.

Lesson. Learned.
Abby’s had some time to think after her pregnancy scare and now regrets having it off with EJ. She doesn’t even want him anymore. Wait until she learns that was no scare and that she really is pregnant. Better yet, one of our forum members, Txwildcat, says, “Wait until she finds out that he used her to cover up the 'murder' of the very cousin she was so desperately searching for.”

EJ’s reaction was interesting. He looked disappointed that Abigail doesn’t even want to be around him anymore.

Why would Sami follow Jordan and Ben?
Jordan and Ben’s five second chat at TBD caused Sami to follow them into the square where she tattled on Jordan to Rafe. What’s her deal? There was no reason to follow them. Jordan and Rafe are none of her damned business! So stupid. Why bother getting Sami involved in Rafe’s relationship again? It just didn’t make sense unless Kate's right and she still has feelings for her ex. Then Kate tried to get Sami into trouble with EJ who then had to contend with his child bride-to-be protecting her ex-husband. Again. He had the look of someone sick and tired of her crap. He’s got to be one of the few Salemites not interested in sticking their noses in where it does not belong.

Rude and immature.
Sami dressed like a trashy sixteen year old and acted four years old making fun of Stefano for having Erectile Dysfunction... not that he even has it but still. And that she made fun of him rather indiscreetly when EJ asked her to respect that it’s a private issue made me want to turn off the TV right in the middle of my recap. Why the hell does the show need to make Sami act like she's a child still after all these years and how come it doesn't make EJ get Erectile Dysfunction? Gah!

Sami warning Kate against getting back together with Stefano. Kate was pretty funny pointing out that Sami was marrying the man she shot in the head, etcetera. Still it didn't diminish the touching yet funny scene.

Kate, “Why do you even care what the hell I do?”

Sami, “Because I like you and I don't want to see you get hurt...Omg. Kate. What did I just say?” The words just came out of my mouth.”

Kate, “That's okay because I didn't even hear it.”
Sami, “It didn't happen.”

Kate, “No...what? What happened?” (Laughs) “Me too”

Hilarious. Kami! Kami! Kami!

Meddlers be meddlin’.
Kate said, “I am going to make it my business...” It doesn’t matter what came next. That's got to be the most used phrase in Salem. And this from a businesswoman who can’t really have much free time to be nosing her way into her ex-lover’s business.

Bad girl.
John’s rarely been seen since his return and when he is all he does is... let’s say it together...meddle. This intrusive nature of almost every single character in Salem is really getting out of hand. Brady’s still not 100% ready to face his demons and John’s sure not helping. I hope they get to the real point of his return soon.

Side note: Brady and Theresa were much hotter in bed this time around!

I know Nicole’s marriages and her life has been way less than perfect and she has done some things that many would consider to be immoral but am not sure what to think about Father Louis telling Eric the Catholic Church would frown upon him marrying Nicole. I’m not sure if I think Father Louis is just smart because Nicole really hasn’t changed all that much and he suspects this or if I feel like he shouldn't be so judgemental but more forgiving. People can change. Not a fan of that scene at all. And actually am getting sick of this whole Eric/Nicole BS. Fans want to see them in bed already. Nobody watches a soap opera for the celibacy of the characters. Come on! Though I really like reading all of the posts in the Days forum, this one stood out this week and validated a few thoughts I had. Ericole forum rant. I realize Eric may love the Catholic church more than he loves Nicole.

Side note: I miss cute and endearing Father Matt (Ralph Waite).

WilSon wedding.
Again, this wedding's not making anywhere near the impact it could because of the change from Chandler Massey to Guy Wilson so close to the nuptials. A few positives: There have been some tender WilSon moments this week. The stress of each guy having his mother call to whine about not being a part of the wedding was every bit as annoying as it is in reality, and Lucas and Justin were a delight with their banter and competitiveness. More of the latter, please!

Best lines of the week:

Anne, “Honey if your rack looked that good you’d be a much happier camper.”

Lucas, “Well I plan on wearing a powder blue tuxedo and white patent leather loafers.”

Jennifer, “If she spent as much energy at this job as she did on that, she would own this hospital.”

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- Christine Fix