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Stefano (

EJ and Will (

Deconstructing "DOOL" for the week of July 2-July 6:

Hey "DOOL" fans, I'm on holiday this week so there will be no blog. In lieu of that, I'd like to invite you to read Matt's DOOL Musings, which are weekly summaries of the happenings in Salem, with a twist!

Take a look back at some of the best lines of this year according to Matt! They're pretty funny.

Nicole: If you knew what qualified as my idea of sex, your head would explode.

Will: So, you gonna get me off?
EJ: William, I took care of your bail. It's not up to me to get you off.
Will: I can't do your dirty work if I'm in jail.

John: There was something I needed to do. Uh... nothing much.

Kate: He's been dead and undead so many times that I can hardly count.

Jack: This state can't afford a governor named 'Elvis'.

Sami: The Library of Congress has a whole wing dedicated to the mistakes I've made.

Will: (to Gabi) Wow! No rainbow flag for you.

CIA dude Harmon: As far as the Federal government is concerned, Stefano is pure as the driven snow.

Mel: I'm not sure I can share bread-sticks with Stefano.

Sami: You're about as sensitive as sandpaper.

Austin: I'm counting the minutes until the insanity is over-with.

Marlena: I don't even know what we're talking about and I already hate it.

EJ: (to Sami) Darling, if poor mothering made children gay, all of Kate's children would be waving rainbow flags.

Will: (to Sami) Stop being a victim and grow up!

John: I still say we should bring back hanging traitors in a public square.

Will: Are you kidding me? First Dad and then EJ? Oh my God who is next?

Will: She can't help being the slut that she is.

Will: I see you put away your pitchfork and the fire pit.

Maggie: Victor, please, no bloodshed today.
Victor: Fine, I'll do it tomorrow.

Stefano: Classic Brady reaction.

EJ: To be loved by you seems to be a death sentence.

Sami: You're the first person in the history of the DiMera family to be kicked out on a morals charge.

Abby: Was Johnny trying to do brain surgery on Allie's doll again?

Austin: (to Rafe) Wow man that is a man-sized bowl of ice cream you've got there. I never thought of you as the sprinkles type.

Sami: What? Me shooting him in the head is just a bump in the road to true love?

Kate: Is that everyone's favorite guttersnipe, Samantha Brady?

Billie: (to Daniel) I know your MO. You feel someone's glands, take their liver out and... all of a sudden, Dr. Dan is in love!

Kate: Buy yourself a blow up doll, spray it with cheap perfume and it will be just like Nicole never left.

Nicole: Sami rocks at being pregnant. That's one of her only talents.

Mel: There's an old saying: If you married a man who cheated on his wife, you married a man who cheated on his wife.

Abe: You can dress yourself up in fancy suits, but you're garbage!

EJ: Is that from 'Father Knows Best' or 'The Waltons'?

Stefano: If Marlena blows her nose in Salem, am I responsible?

Sami: You've been telling me to get a job since I was 16 and now I have one.

Join us on Twitter @soapoperafan, and Facebook. See you in a week!

- Christine Fix