To be honest, there may have been one or two uncomfortable fans in the crowd, but this is one fan who didn't mind the ruckus or the R-rating. All the laughter and mayhem was a great way to start our day, and the fun only continued later with Don Diamont (ex-Brad Carlton, Yound the Restless) calling the bingo shots.
In fact, the big reveal of the Soap Cruise was that class clown Don should consider a turn to comedy now that Brad has taken his "final" dip on Y&R. From impersonations to a faux suicide attempt and various jokes at his own expense, he was a hoot!
But I digress. It's the scene I'm here to recap, not the Don D Bingo Bonanza, and here I've tried to present a few runs as they came out, so that you can truly see just how senseless and silly things got. Hopefully, you'll also see why the audience was clutching their guts throughout.
Things kicked off with Christian LeBlanc (Michael Baldwin, The Young and the
Restless) taking the stage to introduce the newly arrived Ricky Paull Goldin (Jake Martin, All My Children). Ricky had to work Friday, so joined the cruise after the stop in Key West. There'd been a short meet and greet for him the night before, but he's miss the countless Q&As and such, so this was his first time really taking the stage in front of the fans.
"Don't be scared. They won't bite… much," Christian teased.
Ricky, who was moving slow at the early hour, then called the entire cast of actors down to the stage and handed the mike off to Cameron Matheson (Ryan Lavery, All My Children). Thus the games began.
In the first number, fan Jessica's "Emergency Room Antics", Christian played "Aaron," a patient with a stomach ache and tourettes syndrome who made the unfortunate mistake of hitting the hospital when a drunken Dr. Bradford Anderson (Spinelli, GH) was on call.
I only know this was the plot because we were told as much before it started: Aaron never made it to the hospital, as the pain pulled him to the floor… and then pulled writer/costar Jessica down after him. The doctor was soon pulled into twirling jumble as well, where he ultimately did find a moment to check Aaron's TOES to figure out why his stomach hurt. "We call this physical improve," Bradford cracked from the dog pile on the floor. "It's very high tech."
Beautiful), tried to give "Aaron" a very special check up, before the scene was (thankfully!) called.
Christian then carried an unconscious Bradford on stage as the aforementioned "she", which started a huge trend. These whacky actors seemed to enjoy carting each other around as lost loves and babies, with Christian lifting at least five of them. He even hefted mild mannered Murray Bartlett (Cyrus Foley, Guiding Light), who let loose with everyone else.
Thus the tone was set by the time the action took us to Genoa City, where Esther's double-entendre throwing aunts, Holly and Dolly Valentine, were coming to see Michael B for legal defense. Don stepped up to play Michael (doing the impression Julie raved about in her blog), while Nadia Bjorlin (Chloe Lane Black, Days of our Lives) stepped in as Dolly and Jay Kenneth Johnson (Philip Kiriakis, Days of our Lives) lightened his loafers to play Holly.
"He's prettier than I am!" Nadia jokingly groaned over her costar.
It was never clear what these retired madams were in trouble for, thanks to the wild energy on stage and all that confusing "improv". When Christian tried to step in and "save the show", Don ordered him to sit back down – as you may know, last year, Christian played almost every part during the scenesters event.
Christian got his revenge when he took on the role of strappin' Brad Carlton in a later sketch with Winsor and Leslie Kay (Felicia Forrester, Bold and
Beautiful). At first, with Leslie going without a script, Christian tried to fill in the blanks and craftily feed her the lines, but the storyline never quite materialized.
That didn't mean it didn't have us laughing! When Leslie collapsed in tears over an off screen character, for example, one of the actors cried, "Had she not asked for more money in her contract, she wouldn't be in a coma right now."
Then Christian returned bearing an unconscious Jay and passed him off to Ricky. When did Ricky join the group? And what did it all mean? It's hard to say, but it all seemed to swarm around love triangles and miraculous returns from the dead. That's as much as I could gather, anyway.
In a later performance, Nadia cooed over the idea of Dr Brandon Beemer (Owen Knight, Bold and
Beautiful) - who doesn't want a doctor in the house? - but at go-time she cried, "Does anyone know what's going on?"
By the time things wound down, we got to see Don's Victor Newnan, Austin Peck's (Brad Snyder, As the World Turns) Sonny Corinthos (as mentioned by Julie) and a big make out scene between Leslie & Nadia!
Amidst that action, Austin, Brandon and Jacob Young (JR Chandler, All My Children) disappeared unnoticed behind the curtain… only to return in "costume": Austin sporting a blond wig, Brandon a biker look and Jacob a hula hoop.
"I can't believe we're getting upstaged by a hula-hoop!" Nadia sighed moments after her make out scene.
Indeed, the costumes got us excited for an even wackier vein of action, but in the end only signaled that things were coming to a close. It was time to get some food, before returning for Don's wild bingo ride, and we'd all worked up quite an appetite!
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- Deanna Barnert